Screwed.edu
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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