Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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