You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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