I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
