my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
We are two peas in an std pod
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
