you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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