I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
