After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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