Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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