I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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