her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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