Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
