Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
