That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
