You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
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