I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
