I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
