I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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