I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Just pee around me
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
