WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
