You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
True strength comes from lack of pants
Randomize
