I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
