So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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