How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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