So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize