Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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