You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
