I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
