Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
