billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
