sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
