Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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