we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
