i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
