totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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