I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
It's blow job season.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
