I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
