Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
