Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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