I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
