Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Randomize
