I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
