I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
