i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize
