guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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