Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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