like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
