bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize