Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
