Sry I called you an 8
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
