just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
