weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I have demons in me.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
