i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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