There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
