i think my mom watched the whole time
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
