singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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