big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
