i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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